What change feels like from the inside
The Human Side of Change™
Issue 02 - August 2026
Have you ever stood at a crossroads, facing a decision - for yourself, your family or your team - based on deep knowing that something needed to change? Only to have strong opinions from others that make you second-guess yourself and the direction you had chosen.
These decisions could include:
taking a child out of their school because the school’s values are different to yours
making a policy decision in the workplace to remain competitive
leaving a job or career to pursue other interests
Whatever the decision is, you have been responsible for making it and followed through regardless of the endless noise around you.
When asked how they are handling those situations, most people will say some version of I am fine. Or getting there.
What people generally don’t do is tell the truth. That there is confusion, exhaustion, uncertainty and maybe a bit of loneliness that they were not expecting. Afraid that they may be the only one experiencing what they are experiencing or afraid to open up at the risk of how they may be perceived.
There is a gap between how change looks like from the outside and how it actually feels from the inside. In my experience, the gap is where most people get stuck or influenced to change direction from the path they had chosen. That’s where fear resides. Where resentment builds. Where walls go up. Not because they cannot handle the change, but because they don’t know what they are feeling is completely normal.
The version of change nobody talks about
Some people observe others going through change that looks like this: someone reaches a turning point, makes a brave decision and emerges on the other side transformed. Looking stronger, happier and more themselves.
What people don’t see is everything happening in the in-between.
Waking up in the middle of the night with a stirring within. A heaviness they cannot figure out. Grief of leaving something behind even if they chose to leave it. The exhaustion of holding themselves together in public while questioning everything in private. The loneliness of feeling like everyone else seems to handle things better and they are the only one who isn’t.
That is what change feels like from the inside. And people hide away from talking about it honestly.
Why the silence makes it harder
When people don’t talk about their experiences of change, they lose the opportunity to be real. They lose the opportunity to connect with others. And they lose the opportunity to express what is really going on for them. Something else also happens in the silence - the mind takes over. The fear becomes bigger. The confusion gets stronger and they start believing that perhaps the knowing they once had was wrong. The loneliness solidifies that no-one would understand how they are feeling anyway.
They believe the silence protects them but, in truth, it makes them feel alone in what is actually universal.
What I have noticed
In conversations that I have had with people navigating change (personally and professionally), they say what matters most is when they are able to verbalise what they have been carrying. They don’t want to be fixed. They don’t want advice. Just to have someone hear them. To have someone say that makes sense. Or if it doesn’t make sense, to say I hear you.
That moment of truly being heard builds trust and makes them feel seen. It doesn’t resolve the change but it makes it less terrifying and lonely. And sometimes that is exactly what someone needs in that moment to be able to keep moving towards the fear and uncertainty.
Questions to reflect on:
What are you experiencing about change that you have not said out loud yet?
How can you show up for someone who is navigating something they are going through?
Kellie is a life transition coach and facilitator with over 15 years HR experience and the founder of Kellie Jane Coaching.
Human Side of Change is her monthly newsletter for people navigating what comes next.
Subscribe at kelliejanecoaching.com.au