Is Work/Life Balance Really The Right Term?

The Human Side of Change™

Issue 03 - September 2026

For years we have heard the term work/life balance. Implying that work is separate to our life. I don’t believe they are two distinct things competing for balance. So this month, I am challenging that idea. 

We don’t say health/life balance. Or social/life balance. Or spiritual/life balance. And yet health, social connection and spirituality are all equally important and essential of our time and energy. So why do we single out work as the thing that life has to compete against?

Life is one thing

Our life is not two things. It is one whole made up of many moving parts. Career and work. Mental wellbeing. Physical health. Spiritual connection. Social relationships. These elements move together, shift together and influence each other constantly. They don’t sit opposite each other.

The stories we tell ourselves about how life works shape what we believe is possible. What I mean by this is that when we frame life as work versus everything else, we start making decisions from that frame. We start measuring success by whether we achieved balance between two competing forces. Then we wonder why it never quite feels right.

One way to bring this to life is through an exercise called Wheel of Life. It is a simple but powerful tool that gives you a visual snapshot of where you are across all areas of your life right now, not just work.

The wheel is divided into eight segments: Career and Work, Finance, Family, Hobbies and Interests, Social, Intimate Partner, Health and Fitness, Spiritual. Rate each area from one to ten. One means this area of your life needs significant attention and ten means you are thriving in this area.

Once you have rated each segment, step back and look at the whole picture. Which areas are full? Which areas need attention?

Wheel of Life. Rate each segment 1-10. 1 = needs attention. 10 = thriving.

This is not about achieving a perfect ten in every area. That is not realistic and it is not the goal. The goal is to have awareness of the big picture, because you cannot make thoughtful adjustments to a life you haven’t looked at with honesty.

What burnout is really telling us

You may have already experienced what it is like when your life is out of alignment - your body eventually tells you.

We call it burnout.

People often relate burnout to too many hours spent working. But burnout is not simply caused by too much work. It is caused by living in a way that is not aligned with who you are or what you value. Exhaustion is actually the body’s way of saying that this is not working. “This” being the whole thing, not just the work part.

The patterns that keep us stuck

More often than not, life starts feeling out of balance not because of work itself but because of what we default to without even taking notice. We all have patterns that we adopt from a very early age and these patterns (as the word suggests) repeat, until we become aware of them. These are: people pleasing, comparing, avoiding discomfort, reacting rather than responding. Beyond these internal patterns, there are also external elements that contribute - no hobbies or interests outside of work, no social connections, no clear sense of purpose or meaning beyond the role.

The sooner we acknowledge this the sooner we can begin making small adjustments for our life and start living more deliberately rather than on autopilot.

When work becomes the whole

What many experience when work is the only element that you are investing in is that your life can become very small and isolating. You decline social invitations because there is a work deadline. A hobby gets shelved because there isn’t time. A conversation gets cut short because you need to be somewhere else. Over time life contracts not because of one big choice but because of a thousand small ones.

The signs are seen by others before you see them. They show up when the friend stops calling or your child becomes distant because they learn not to interrupt when the laptop is open.

What’s even more telling is when something significant changes - a redundancy, a retirement or a restructure that removes the role. Suddenly the question that becomes at your forefront is: who am I without my job? You realise that your identity was built only on work rather than across your whole life. This is what can happen when one element of life carries more weight than it was ever designed to hold.

A different way of seeing it

I am not suggesting that work is unimportant, because it absolutely is. It is one of the most significant elements of a full life. However, it is one element among many.

For many people, particularly those navigating midlife or a significant life transition, the work/life balance question eventually gives way to a deeper one. What if instead of asking whether there is work/life balance that you ask whether your life is aligned with who you are and what matters to you?

That’s a different type of question and it tends to lead somewhere you didn’t expect it to.

So I go back to the term life balance. Look at all areas of your life, not just one part, and make the necessary adjustments because when it comes to life, there is always room for change.

Questions to reflect on:

Which element of your life has been waiting for more of your attention?

What would one small adjustment toward it look like?

Please feel free to share your thoughts on this topic.

If you’d like to be the first to receive updates and other insights, then please subscribe to my monthly newsletter.

Subscribe at kelliejanecoaching.com.au